How to Get Out of the Vicious Circle of Expectations and Disappointments, Editorial

Expectations, when not set right lead to disappointments, and disappointments are heartbreaking. When we put our hearts to something, when our hopes are high, and things don’t work out the way we were expecting them to be, we face disappointments.

We can never control what might happen. With this total lockdown due to coronavirus outbreak, the entire world is going through a lot. A lot of dreams have been put on hold, a lot of business plans have turned blurry. People sitting at home are not only worried about their health but also their livelihood.

We are not even sure when this lockdown will be finally over and when will we be able to start all over again. The trauma and the fear of losing everything that we had built with hard work seems to be going away from us. This is what we call disappointment. Disappointment and fear of losing.

The point is, what will this worrying and disappointment do to us.

Different people deal with disappointments differently. This often depends on their developmental history, their relationship with their parents, and other experiences during their formative years.

Some people learn to set their expectations and goals low in order to avoid disappointments; they become underachievers, while others try to become overachievers, they try to be perfect at everything and thus get trapped in this vicious circle of expectations and disappointments.

Painful as disappointments may be, we can always learn something from them.

The key is to be “good enough”; don’t push yourself to be perfect and do not make yourself, just below average. Just try and be “good enough”.

Never let negative thoughts surround you when we meet with disappointments in life. As hard as it may sound, it can be achieved. Try and focus your energy to think about positive solutions.

Always remember that there is always a way out, there is always a solution. And even if we fail at something, there is always something else that we can focus our energy on.

All of us are here in this world with some purpose, we all have a purpose in life and we are no disappointments.

  • Always take time to express your sorrow. It is important to acknowledge your emotions and feeling. Take time to wallow.

 

  • Once you have cried it out, think is it really that bad? Thoughts are not always the truth. Our thoughts can be affected and influenced based on our past experiences. There is a possibility that what seems to be extremely horrible and hopeless, isn’t exactly that bad. 

 

  • Refocus before your anxiety takes over you. There is a high probability that if you will not refocus your thoughts on something that can engage you, the rage, anxiety, and uneasiness will come out as anger. When disappointed, we can be extremely sensitive and hence overreact. Find things that can keep you calmer.

 

  • Never take other people’s thoughts and opinions at heart. When we are disappointed, we are sensitive, and when we are sensitive, we overthink, and when we overthink we fall deeper into depression. Do not, even for once consider other people’s judgment. At the same time, remember that differences in point of view are not insults. There might be instances when we will fail and people will not agree with us and that’s okay. Everyone has a different perspective and it is up to us if we want to agree or not but this clash should not be considered an insult.

 

  • Acknowledge, accept, and achieve. Always accept your disappointments, and accept that the expectations weren’t set right. Balance your expectations and focus on trying again. Focus on the solutions and never rush. 

Disappointments are often illusions because, one thing is for sure that if one thing does not work out, it does not mean the end of the world. The world never ends and there is always something better waiting for us. We just need to set our perspectives right.

 

3 thoughts on “How to Get Out of the Vicious Circle of Expectations and Disappointments, Editorial

  1. This is such a thoughtful one Swati. So tough to implement in real life specially the point around people’s opinions – those people who matter. It’s really difficult not be to affected by them. They do leave a lasting impact and sometimes I wonder “ how could they make such a thoughtless statement?” But as you put it , it’s their way of looking at things and it’s up to us what we make of it it

    1. Akshata, it’s a trap.. one thing I have taught myself is that pigs love rolling in the mud. Some statements are meant to be ignored because they are made with an intention to get a reaction out of you. I have had full blown anxiety attacks and the only thing I am focusing on is ignoring certain people because “giving it back” is what they actually want so that they can pass their free time… sometimes, ignoring the non existent people is the best that we can do for ourselves

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