Second baby: Plan it or not?


A major question we all couples go through once our elder child is grown enough is to have a second baby or not? Frankly it took me 3yrs to finally decide. I had gone through many these and those situations tried to visualize myself as a mother of two. Everytime my son got ill or cranky or any other worse situation I quit the idea of planning second one. But whenever I saw any other couples with two or more kids I felt very good because I love kids and again made up my mind.

I asked several questions to myself before discussing it to my better half.

*Will I be able to bring up two kids?

*Will I be able to handle them all alone?

*Will I be able to take care of my husband & give him time as I do now?

And so on……

In this chaos my elder son came up as an enlightenment. His love for babies and a strong determined feeling to have a sibling made me clear about my decision. He made me realize how important it is to have a second baby especially for your elder child.


Before I proceed with my decision another question was there. Is my partner ready for it? Not surprisingly, he was as confused as me and we both laughed on it.

We discussed a lot of things and I gave him my reasons of planning second one: –

*First of all, the elder child will have a companion. No matter how much I play with him he never gets bored and tired. But after a certain duration I had to leave him to play alone with toys because I too have other work to do. At those points he gets upset and although I understood his feelings but can’t do anything for him.

*We as a couple will get sometime to spend with each other. Everytime we have to wait for him to sleep to have our own-time because he is so possessive for both of us and doesn’t let us talk. He always wants that we conversate only with him and not with each other and all our attention should be towards him only.

*Having another kid in home will let him learn share things even his parents. My son is so possessive about us that he doesn’t want his mom to be shared even with his father and his father with his mom. We love the way he loves us but sometimes it made us think what if he doesn’t understand these things with growing age.

I am aware about all the things about babies so I am less worried now. After taking care of my son for 4yrs now I am fully trained to handle the second one. First time I had advices and suggestions but this time I am experienced too.

Initially, my husband was also not sure but never denied for second one as he loves kids too and especially willing to have a daughter. As “D- day” is about to come he is as excited as me and my son.

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