“I get so frustrated being at home all day.”, “I really want to do something”, “I have all those art files, colours and stuff lying aside”, “I want to do something… I just can’t” – said one of my neighbours, who is a mother to a four year old little girl. The situation, however, is relevant to a lot of moms.
“You will have to find time”… I told her. And I would like to say this to every mom.
NO one is going to take time out for us, no one is going to push us to go get that facial done that is long awaited. This is our work and we have to do this. Sending your child to a day care for a few hours is not going to make you a bad mom, in fact, it might make you a better mom.
Even if I am a stay-at-home mom, I would prefer sending my child to a day care for at least 2 hours.
1. Being a stay-at-home mom does not mean that you have free time. You have a lot of work to do. Plus with the child around, you are never free.
2. Giving yourself these two hours is not luxury, it is a necessity. Take time out for a hobby, some craft, some sleep. Use these two hours. You are giving your life to your family… you can afford to give two hours to yourself.
3. When you will get these two hours, you will be refreshed to be with your child and play with him without feeling exhausted.
4. Just see the routine – you are not able to change the monotonous routine because you are not willing to give yourself sometime.
5. Some free hours and you will start focussing on yourself too. See, it is a hard fact that kids are going to grow up and have their own lives… but what about you? Don’t you think as you will grow up you would crave for something to be just yours… If yes, better start building that now.
These is the advice that comes from some women close to me, like my mom, aunts and co-workers who are elder to me.
1. “He/ She just does not like to stay at the day care”: Who does? In the beginning, every child resists the day care but later starts loving it. The key is to find a good day care. Read the online reviews, talk to parents on online platforms and to those who live nearby.
I know we all work very hard but when it comes to think about our own self, we become lazy. So, stop being lazy. Struggle and strive for some Me-time. Don’t give the excuse that – “I left my child for three days and she/he kept crying. This happens only for a few days. Only thing you need to ensure is, the daycare is good enough for your child.
One of my neighbours once asked – “You work from home then why do you send your daughter to day care?”
I have to, otherwise how am I supposed to work? I want my daughter to be proud of me when she grows up. I spend a lot of time with her, we play together, I take her to picnics, I sing to her, read to her, present small puppet shows, draw cards for her and I am able to do this for her because I have not said ‘No’ to myself.
Stay at home moms are not free. They have endless tasks to perform and the frustration sometimes is justified. They deserve some “Me’ time more than working moms… some might hate me for this statement but this is a fact.
Working moms still go out, talk to co-workers, have lunch with a group… but most of the stay-at-home moms do all of this alone. It’s high time that we change from the stay-at-home mom to a more fun-mom. Just a little time taken for ourselves, can make us feel more relaxed, refreshed and prepared once again for everything. It is not a bad bargain.
Think about it!