What Happens in Marriage Counselling and If It is Actually Worth Trying?

Differences can crop up anywhere, in any relationship and at any point of time. In marriages, we often see differences developing that seem to be way too difficult to be ignored or forgotten. Issues seem so painful that couples can’t even gather the strength to discuss or face them. 

The worse happens when either of their parents or friends try to help as there is always partiality or the fear of being sidelined arises. The opinions are biased and therefore no matter how much people around a couple want to help, they are not able to do so.

These are the times when a couple takes the decision to finally go to a marriage counselor. The concept of consulting a marriage counselor is  still new in India. More often than not people do not really understand the importance and the things get complicated.

Why and When To Consider Marriage Counselling?

  1. If the issues have become so intense that normal conversation has become a far fetched dream. A marriage counselor can actually guide couples as to how they can address, discuss and negotiate in conflicts.
  2. When there is absolutely no communication or there is too much shouting that it is never discussion, it is always fights.
  3. When both the partners feel disrespected and unheard. In case the hurt is too much couples do need an impartial third party to first listen to them and then  guide them.

The most important thing to remember is that marriage counselling is not meant for an abusive relationship. Any relationship that involves physical abuse, of any kind is more of a crime and an attempt to adjust with a criminal. For everything else, marriage counselling works better if both the parties are actually willing to save the relationship. When both the parties are hurt, in pain yet they want to find a way where their marriage could work again.

With this note let’s understand what happens in Marriage Counselling.

  1. The purpose of marriage counselling is not to make either of the partners compromise, it is to make them learn how to cooperate with each other.
  2. Marriage counselling means listening to each other’s pint of views, opinions, experiences and emotions and then provide both the partners with the right way to communicate those to each other.
  3. A lot of times, the problem arises due to the wrong way of communication or interference by either side of parents or other family members when such conflicts arise. Marriage counselling is the best way to avoid any kind of interference and get a clear picture about the problems.
  4. Often misunderstandings arise because of a third person’ involvement, this can be the mom in law, dad in law, sister in law or someone from either side but this miscommunication or misunderstanding created by a third party can be resolved effectively with the help of a marriage counsellor as a counsellor is impartial and listens to both the parties with a neutral point of view.
  5. A marriage counsellor often gives couples various activities and tasks to make them understand the root cause of their problems and hence allows them to find solutions themselves without any kind of interference.

In India, it is a beautiful tradition that our parents and siblings are always a part of our lives but sometimes the barriers are crossed and misunderstandings arise. At the same time, no matter how much two people  love each other conflicts can develop in any relationship and it is very important to seek for the right help at the right time.

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