Haters gonna hate! Easier said than done. Isn’t it? It isn’t uncommon to feel constantly judged by someone. We know their judgement doesn’t matter, yet the constant anxiety of being around people who judge you incessantly is sometimes too much too handle.
‘Oh, she gave instant food to her child.’
‘She is a stay at home mom, why does she need a full time maid.’
‘Her child has no manners, she doesn’t teach him/her anything.’
‘She is too strict with her child, doesn’t even let him/her enjoy childhood.’
‘What is he wearing?’/ ‘Where is she going?’/ ‘Why is she breathing?’
‘Why doesn’t he play with his child?’
The list is endless. You can be judged for something or the other. There are people who have this habit of interfering in other people’s lives, notice their every move, filter the information as per their convenience and then judge them or talk about them behind their back. So what can you do, or say to yourself to deal with such haters? How can you set yourself free from the trauma that this constant scrutiny causes. Here are a few things that you can do to cope up with this feeling:
Embrace The Reality: More often than not, it is not others’ judgement but our own opinion about ourselves that bothers us. Sometimes it is important to have a dialogue with our own inner self. Why am I judging myself? Is this how I want to treat myself? Shouldn’t I be more compassionate towards myself? It is always better to change any negativity seeping inside you into a positive attitude.
Ask Yourself, ‘Why Am I Being Judged?’ No, don’t start finding fault in yourself. People often feel the need to judge because they feel threatened. It is their jealousy that makes them judge others. There is a high probability that you are doing something really good for yourself and that’s causing the judgement. But don’t get in that trap. Jealousy or judging others is not a very good feeling. The best way to deal with it is to disengage. If you have a frenemy who is sweet on your face but constantly judging you, the best thing to do would be to disengage and keep a distance from such people.
Shift Your Focus From Being Perfect To Being Successful and Happy: Nobody is perfect so you need to stop unnecessary efforts to become a people pleaser because that’s impossible to achieve. Shift all your energy into your growth, happiness and success. You should step up your own life and lead it with Zest and passion free from any judgement.
Set Boundaries: Unfortunately but a lot us face the issue where loving and constructive criticism by people closest to us takes the form of destructive and hurtful judgement. It is important to set boundaries. Negative environment can take away all the productivity. It is important to step back from toxic environment in the best possible manner.
Do What’s In Your Power: You don’t have the power to read someone’s mind, so don’t even focus your energy into it. You also, do not have the power to control what others think or feel about you. You do have the power to control what you give to the world. If someone is judging you out of jealousy, don’t judge them back. Just say to yourself, ‘This isn’t my fault. I am happy.‘ The energy and feelings you give to the universe is the energy you will get back. Do what is within your power: Shift your energy and focus to positivity.
No One Knows The Truth But You: Nobody knows what you have gone through in your life or what you might be going through at a certain point in your life. No one knows what your principles are and so when someone judges you for the choices you make, that isn’t your problem because it is not based on truth but on filtered and selective information someone wants to use.
It Is Your Opinion That Matters The Most: What others think of you or how others judge you is not going to help you in any way. Most of the time it is not even constructive criticism that could help you improve. Trust yourself and the decisions you take.
No One Has The Control On Your Feelings: It is you who can let someone make you feel some way or other. Never let anyone have that power. The people who love you, won’t judge you and the people who judge you, don’t love you.
Featured Image Credit: Namrata Pandya